2014: twitter edition

some of my favorites of this past year. wtf, 2014?

Trigger warnings are triggering for me.

— Dan Savage (@fakedansavage) January 31, 2014

Actually I'm glad I'm not watching the #oscars, because Ellen's bound to bring out Sophia Grace and Rosie in a minute

— Helen Zaltzman (@helenzaltzman) March 3, 2014

Possess a excellent day time, says a wonderful spammer. Thank you, I shall try to.

— Havi Brooks (@havi) March 10, 2014

CNN is continuing their arduous 3 week search for news. Pray for them.

— josh groban (@joshgroban) March 30, 2014

I'm secretly jealous of people who have their shit together. Must be relaxing.

— marc maron (@marcmaron) April 11, 2014

New Law Requires Welfare Recipients To Submit Sweat To Prove How Hard They’re Looking For Job http://t.co/K6yKkOkhmv pic.twitter.com/c2AZgKt3Aj

— The Onion (@TheOnion) August 6, 2014

"Don't go anywhere" and "Maroon 5 is up next" in the same sentence. So which is it, Sway?

— Rich Juzwiak (@RichJuz) August 25, 2014

Kind of weird living in an age where men get to age like teak credenzas, and women, like unrefrigerated dairy products.

— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) September 13, 2014

there are more people in the polyphonic spree than there are in ISIS

— joe mande (@JoeMande) September 22, 2014

Realizing that 100 lifetimes would not be enough for all the stuff I'd like to do. How do people get bored?

— Jill Draper (@JillMakesStuff) September 25, 2014

tinnitus the night we ring in my new ear.

— Hawksley Workman (@HawksleyWorkman) December 31, 2014

(i guess i thought there'd be more food...)